


A Million Men

by Super_Sleepy_Fluffball_of_Doom



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Based on a Melanie Martinez Song, Dark Past, Don't Judge Me, F/M, Hurt, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I couldn't get it out of my head so I wrote it, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Million Men, Past Rape/Non-con, Reader-Insert, song-fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-23 22:54:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13200297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Super_Sleepy_Fluffball_of_Doom/pseuds/Super_Sleepy_Fluffball_of_Doom
Summary: Y/n learned a song for Nathan Baze, her rapist/captor years and years ago. She swore she'd never sing it again, but when she and the boys are caught after a hunt gone wrong, she has to not only sing, but share her past that she's never spoken of and tried to forget everyday.Based on A Million Men by Melanie Martinez.





	A Million Men

**Author's Note:**

> Italics= Flashback/memory  
> Underlined= Lyrics  
> Warning: Reader was repeated raped and abused in her past that she is forced to share with the boys. If this is triggering, do not read.

You woke up to a man humming a familiar tune. Your wrists were bound and you felt a throbbing in the back of your head. As you opened your eyes you saw Sam and Dean unconscious and tied much more efficiently tied to chairs with ropes around their bodies, holding them down. The dark room was split in half, with you on the other side, but something about the tan walls and the smell of metallic lube was triggering your memory the longer you were awake. There was only one light source, a yellowish light that didn't quite look like the sun beamed from a lamp on a wooden table a few feet away. Somehow, it managed to light everything in the room except for what was behind the lamp itself. You realized you had been slumped over in a bed that felt like an old cot someone had beaten repeated, now you were just sitting on the cotton sheets, waiting.

Suddenly you recognized the song and the deep voice that was humming it. The song that  _he_ would make you sing everyday so you would remember that you belonged to him, so you would remember that you were different and would never fit in no matter how hard you tried because  _he_ ruined you. You hated that song, you wished he'd never found it, hell you wished you never met him in the first place, but you did.

"Look who's awake." He purred. "Miss Maggie, how are you feeling today?" He teased.

"Don't call me that, get away." You hissed, but your voice shook and betrayed the stern tone you meant to enforce.

"Now how's that any way to greet an old friend?" He asked in a mockingly hurt voice. "Do you talk to them the same way?"

"Stop." You whimpered. The figure of Nathan Baze slid out from behind the light. He looked just the same as you remembered him. Floppy brown hair that stuck to his forehead, dark brown eyes that almost looked black, as if there was no iris, just the white of his eye and a huge pupil. He has a husky build to him that made you think of Wolverine from X-men, but Nathan was never a hero like the fictional mutants. 

"Should I wake them up? I think that's there an introduction in order." He grinned. Nathan had always pretended to be polite and kind, no matter what he was doing. It didn't matter if he was stripping you to the core and forcing himself in you or if he was asking the Queen to tea, it was always the same voice. That voice haunted you.

"Leave them alone." You shivered. You didn't dare move from your spot on the bed. He knew you wouldn't move, that's probably why he only bothered to tie your wrists and not chain you down like he did with the boys. 

"Hmm, I'm glad you're thinking of them, but I have plans for tonight." He reached behind the lamp on the wooden table and pick up a pitcher of ice water. Suddenly he splashed the Winchesters with the freezing water. Both boys took in a sharp breath and woke up as soon as the liquid hit bruised faces. 

"What the hell?" Dean shouted in surprise before he completely computed his surroundings. "Sammy, Y/n? Where are you?"

"We're here, Dean." You tried to prepare for the torture.

"Dean, huh? I like that name!" Nathan smiled like a cat. "Sammy though, I'm not feeling that one."

"Who are you?" Sam spoke up. Water dripped down his face off his chin.

"Maggie, are you going to be good little girl and use your manners or do I have to get mad?" Nathan glared bullets at you.

You knew what that meant, you knew what he wanted. He wanted to play a game and show his control over you, the control you thought you had broken so long ago, but now found was just as strong as it had ever been. 

"Sam and Dean Winchester, meet Nathan Baze, Nathan, Sam and Dean Winchester." You croaked with regret. You were doing what he wanted again, what was wrong with you? Did you run away for nothing? Was running even worth it if it meant that you were back where you started, with  _him_?

"Thank you Maggie." Nathan gave a sweet smile in your direction before turning back to the boys.

"Maggie?" Dean looked to you with worry and panic in his eyes.

"That's not my name." You looked away from Dean's green orbs.

"Miss Maggie was way to young to understand." Nathan mused. "You'll always be my Maggie, Y/n."

"Okay, as much as I love a good mystery, I'm really sleepy and don't want to deal with this. Who the hell are you?" Dean practically growls.

"Yeesh, he's the best you could find?" Nathan cringes with fake disapproval at Dean's snap and tilts his head towards you. "Knowing how good you feel under the sheets, I'd think you could do better, Mags."

"I'm asking again, who the hell are you?" Dean starts fighting his bonds.

"Okay, yeah, I should answer that." Nathan shrugs. "It's rude to avoid basic questions. I'm Maggie's first friend. We have a special relationship, don't we Maggie?"

"Why are you calling her Maggie?" Sam starts to become visibly angered at the vague answers Nathan gives.

"Maggie, did you never tell them?" Nathan turns to you again. He slowly walks closer and you back into the wall trying to lean away from him. 

From the other side of the room, Dean notices how tense you are every time Nathan calls you 'Maggie', or whenever he even speaks to you.  _Something's not right here, like really not right._ He says to himself. You were never this stressed about anything, not even on a bad hunt. Only when he or Sam was hurt- _wait, someone's gonna get hurt! Like real bad, that's why she's this way._ He realizes. You guys had to get out of this.

"Tell us what?" Sam looks at you as your muscles tighten with every step Nathan took towards you.

"Do you want to sing them a song, Maggie?" Nathan asks you with a baby voice.

"NO!" You have to hold back a sob. You will never sing that song again. You promised yourself that you would never sing that song again.

"Are you sure?" He touches your shoulder lightly. You back as far as you can into the corner and close your eyes as tight as you can.

"HEY! Get away from her!" Dean yells and struggles against the rope holding him down. "Get away you sonva-bitch!"

"He's not very nice is he?" Nathan lets go of you and walks over to the wooden table the lamp is on. "You still sure you don't wanna sing a song? Not even for me?"

"Please don't make me sing it." You almost whisper. 

"Y/n, what's going on?" Sam raises his voice over Dean's shouts. You start to tear up. You know what Nathan's grabbing. He always grabs it when he doesn't get what he wants. You can feel the stinging pain from the marks on your stomach again. The ones that he carved into you with it.

Nathan picks up a shining silver scalpel with a black and red handle on it. He walks over to Dean as he twirls it in his hand.

"Please don't, NO!" You scream. Nathan stops in his tracks, about two feet away from Dean, he turns his head and his blackish brown eyes met your e/c ones.

"Then sing us a song." He almost sings himself.

"Don't make me sing it." You whimper again.

"I'll make you a deal, Maggie." Nathan starts. Not a deal. "You know how much I love deals, don't you?"

You shake your head, you don't want a deal, you want out. You want the boys safe in the bunker and you safe under a blanket in Dean's arms, IN THE BUNKER.

"Sing us my favorite song, or I'll carve Dean's eyes out and I'll skin Sam's face." He smiles. Sam and Dean's eyes jerk up to the scalpel, to you and back to the scalpel again. Nathan turns in a circle, looking around the room at the three of you. "And just so  _everyone_ knows I'm not playing anymore..." Nathan stabs Dean's bicep and positions his hand to twist the blade if anyone tests him further. Dean screams out in pain.

"Stop!" You sob, you have to do it. "Miss Maggie was way to young to understand..."

Sam and Dean's eyes shoot up to look at you. You stand up, shoulders slumped in front of the the bed and walk forwards a few steps. They had never heard you sing, you hated to sing for people because of Nathan. But your voice was beautiful. 

You wiped the tear that was falling from your cheek off your face and started again, trying so hard not to remember the pain.

 

"Miss Maggie was way too young to understand, Why she got thrown into someone else's hands. Why she woke up to strange men, They tore her to pieces. And she couldn't comprehend, Why she was locked up in a basement. Filled with men, Should've gone to school, Instead she did them." You felt tears fighting you, pushing through and trying to make it onto your cheeks.

"Don't touch me,I'm fragile, I'm bitter in my heart. Mama sold me For candy, And I was ruined from the start."

_You turned five and your mother was officially a drunk. She had decided to sell you to a man with dark eyes for more alcohol. That night you learned that pain was felt in more than one way._

"Why do you have to sell me to those mean old men? They cut me up in places I don't even understand, It's normalcy to me, but how will my friends understand? I'm five years old, Sleepin' with a million men."

_Nathan torn into with a force you didn't know existed at your young age. When he wasn't hard, but still bored, he carved into your stomach and thighs, anywhere that normal clothes would hide, with a scalpel that had a red and black handle. He'd play tic-tac-toe with himself, or write words with a few letters, usually no more than six because then there wouldn't be any room left for something else._

"All grown up and her body has decayed, All those promiscuous games she had to play, Oh, she skipped the jungle-jungle-gym phase." You sang, but you refused to look at anyone so your eyes trailed to the ceiling. Remembering all of those times he made you dance for him or when he made you learn gymnastics from Youtube just so he could try more things with you.

"She's tryin' to look at things in a bright way, Sees the light peekin' through the end of the hallway, No, she's tryin', tryin', tryin' to escape..."

_You turned eleven and decided to try to get away from Nathan. You only every smelt of blood or sperm and you hated yourself for never fighting back. But if you ever faught, you knew he'd hurt you more than he normally did. One night when he was asleep, you stole a bottle of vodka and smashed it into a window forcing it to break. All of the windows in the neighborhood were barred, but it didn't matter, Nathan only fed you enough to live so you slipped through after a minute of effort._

"I'm runnin' full force, dear But it's harder when you're bones, I'm weak-kneed But I'm flyin' Out of this hell hole."

_It was storming that night, but you still ran as hard and fast as you could._

"Why do you have to sell me to those mean old men? They cut me up in places, I don't even understand, It's normalcy to me, but how will my friends understand? I'm ten years old, Runnin' from a million men. A million men." Dean started putting the pieces together as he remembered how they had found you.

"Finally the light is comin' close, No turning back, Run full force, Angels swoop down and grab me, And now I'm safe away, From the million men who raised me."

_You had been on the run for a week and a half. No one would help you, they all thought you were just some kind of begger-kid. Luckily you built yourself a shelter with the help of a man with amber eyes and brown hair. He would always give you candy, chocolate was his favorite to share and one point he told you to call him Gabe. He kept you safe for about six months, but had to leave after bringing you to a hunter couple that had always wanted a child, but were scared to raise a kid in 'the life'._

Dean thought back to when they found you. Cold, covered in the blood of two hunters that you claimed raised you. But whenever he or Sam or any man touched you, you became tense. It took roughly three months for you to be comfortable around the two of them, but you never showed more skin than you had to. The scars on your wrist and the marks on your ankle you claimed were from hunting, and if Dean ever pushed, you left the room and wouldn't talk for days. It made so much more sense now.

"Why do you have to sell me to those mean old men? They cut me up in places, I don't even understand, It's normalcy to me,How will my boyfriend understand? I'm seventeen with a history Of a million men. Men. A million men." You finished the horrid song and could no longer hold back the tears that you tried so hard to forget existed.

 

"Poor Maggie." Nathan pouts with gleaming eyes.

"Don't call her that." Dean growls.

"Maggie!" Nathan scrunches his nose with delight as he annoys the hunter.

"Just let her go." Sam pleads. "You've hurt her enough."

"I'm not leaving without you guys." You shake your head.

"Y/n, get out of here." Dean groans in pain from the stab wound. "Forget us, get out of here."

"How's she suppose to do that?" Nathan laughs. 

"Sam." Dean prompts. Sam shoots up and out of the chair, ropes falling to the floor as he punches Nathan so hard he falls to the ground.

"How did you-?" Nathan starts before he goes down.

"You really need to check people for blades before you tie them up." Dean grunts as he stands up and makes his way towards you. 

"Door's this way!" You point. But first...

You grab the scalpel from the blood puddle next to where Dean's chair is and walk over to the fallen man. 

"You deserve this." You whisper before kicking his gut and leaning down scraping the blade across his cheeks until you pull it up and stab his thigh right where the femoral artery is. "Don't ever touch me or any other girl again." You know he'll bleed out by the end of the hour.

Sam rams his weight into the door that's locked shut. The door busts open after the second hit. 

"Let's get out of here."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos appreciated!


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